The Most Important Thing pt. 2

I first want to thank my good friend Bilal, he took this picture that I use. He is a wonderful photographer and a dynamite guy. I don't just say that because he is Muslim and Pakistani, I am referring to his personality. I also would like to thank all of my friends who let me know they are keeping up with my random thoughts and opinions. I appreciate your support as I virtually guide you through the inner-workings of my mind. I know that sometimes its troubling for you to come to grips with my ideas and actually agreeing with them to an extent. At the end of the day I won't tell anyone you said it. I will just store it my memory so that in the off chance you try and mess with me, I can use it against you. Kind of like the live score sheet a woman uses to get you to obey them. My mother does this all the time to me and it forces me to be accountable for what I say and do. Really is a downer, since I am a 17 year old trapped in this manly 25 year old body (don't deny it ladies, I am hot).

So in an earlier post, I mentioned a few important facts about myself. Today I wanted to address one of those topics in a unique way. I try to see myself through other peoples eyes. I have been told that I am a pretty good dancer. I won't lie to you, I spent hours of my pre-teen years blasting Z104 (the old school pop station in D.C.) dancing and moving around my room. I guess it was all the Usher and NSYNC on the television at the time that made me want to do it. It also has to do with my background. Egyptians love drums, chanting, singing, and dancing. When I was a toddler my parents took me with them on a cruise of the Nile for dinner. Instead of sitting in my highchair I was mixing it up with the belly dancers on the boat. I am not sure how much of the story is true, but apparently they were fond of my moves even back then and allowed me to entertain with them. I guess it's a part of me that is natural, and probably when I have the most fun. It also shows how irresistible I was as a toddler. God has truly blessed the women on this earth........(just playing).

Now this explanation of me leads to another more important conversation. Ladies, if I could ever criticize some of you, this would be the only thing. Please for the love of all that is visually appealing fix your dance moves! I might be getting a little cocky about this subject, but it's really just a constructive critique of your skills. I know sometimes the music takes control over you and your ability to control limbs gives way to the euphoria of the moment. I can never object to a person having a really good time. At that point your individuality comes out and being yourself is important.

For the times where you are consciously attempting to be a seductive temptress in a dress and leggings, heed my words. Focus on the beat of the song, sometimes you try and dance to beats that aren't there. If there is a drum follow its lead, and stay within the lines. I know your kindergarten teacher encouraged you to think outside of the box, but in music the artist has already done that. You will not and can not improve on it. It reminds of a quote that my good friend Stephen said once. "these girls, be dancing to the words and not the beat man".... Now Stephen can speak proper English but when he takes on his DJ persona of "Stoundyn" he sounds cool, he is cool. He is the guy swaying your hips and letting your hair flow. Needless to say his attention to detail is critical because his job is to make a fantasy out the "dark room and neon lights" setting. He watches and observes it all and its true, I have caught some people just stop because Ludacris wasn't saying "when I move you move". Music is about the rhythm and the flow. Not the crazy metaphor comparing money to some random green object. Enjoy the words of course, but dance to beat...focus on the beat.

Avoid excessive use of your hands and arms. I don't know if most girls do this as some sort of protective shield against intruders, but it looks silly. Unless you are belly dancing or on America's Next Best Dance Crew, it is simply unnecessary. It never is what you think it looks like. You may think you are resembling Aphrodite the ancient goddess flowing about in the middle of a sweaty dance floor, but in reality you look like those spooky paper mache ghost things my parents put on our balcony around Halloween. I am not trying to make fun of you, but sometimes its best to keep your limbs close to avoid smacking your dance partner or girlfriends in the face.

You should truly focus from the hips on up. Watch that Shakira and Beyonce video, there is a lot to be learned there. Their arms go up and down and not side to side. Their feet don't move, because dancing at a bar or a club is not about your feet. Its about your hips, so don't kick out like you are swing dancing. In fact don't do anything that resembles swing dancing/ river dancing/ or salsa dancing unless you are at that exact setting. Its actually really annoying and not cute. All it says is that "I am an obnoxious girl here to rain on every ones fun by doing this really atrocious ONE move as if I have mastered it, but really not at all". If you want to swing dance go to a swing dance venue. Want to salsa? There are plenty of places where you can do that to!

Now I know that women love to dance in big groups to provide protection. I have seen the infamous backdoor intruder, sneak up on an unsuspecting girl from behind. So I am willing to yield to the idea you dance so badly in order to deter them from harassing you.... actually never mind. I know that's not the case. Just take my advice, use your hips. Now some girls will say I am all bust and no hips. OK you have a different body shape that's not strange, but it does not mean you don't use them. Just ask Salvadorean women, they have no bottom half but seem to do well for themselves. Your shoulders are a key part of your moves, but I would not let them take over the dance. The shoulder should take a back seat to your hips and your back. Those two parts of your body in unison are the key to a good dance. I recommend practicing these dance moves, like I did in my room. If you are concerned with how you are coming along, youtube is a great platform for opinions. You can post a video of you dancing and people will comment on it. I am just kidding about that but if you go into youtube and search girls dancing it is amazing how many videos there are. I guess its like the monster.com or career builder of the video vixen world.

I hope you enjoyed this commentary and it shed some light on the subject. No girl wants to dance with a guy who is off tempo, but have you ever thought that maybe it was you with that problem? Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone!