I have to begin with talking about how pleased I am with how my weekend went. I traveled through the depths of Maryland, the crab and football state. Emphasis on crabs, and crabby drivers to be exact. I get it Maryland, you guys don't have actual roads just highways so you drive aggressively. Calm down though! 90 miles per hour is pretty fast for a Subaru climbing a steep hill.
I was fortunate to meet a dozen new people this weekend. Introduce a few level headed young professionals to a cabin covered in snow with good eats and some organized gaming, you get a pretty special time. I guess I came into it a bit apprehensive because I literally knew two people going on this trip prior. At the end of the weekend, my facebook friend requests got some heavy volume. Not like Tila Tequila on "friendster" volume, but what do you expect a 25 year old guy to do in one weekend? My name isn't the Situation, regardless if there was some Jersey Shore-esque story lines. Plus I am pretty sure the IQ level at the house I was in is about 500 % higher and the VD rate was 500% lower (OK the last part of the statement is questionable).
Now onto the good VD, Valentines Day. The weekend I just had is a great way to introduce you to my idea of this day. Being on a trip with strangers who turned into friends showed me something about the whole love thing. Yes, there were some cute couples spewing their pheromones around the house and an unsuspecting Jacuzzi. Imagine if a hot tub had emotions, it would be one messed up stripper. That's neither here nor there.
As I went about my business this past weekend, I learned a valuable lesson about who I am. I am in the middle of a new group of people that I have never met before. First things first, you find common ground and open up small "get to know you" conversations. With the high number of people in the small space, you are really speed dating (or friendship dating). Finding who likes what, where they are from, and if you can play 7 degrees of separation. It takes energy but if you can keep it genuine than its never a chore. Some people like to focus on work and "what you do", that's probably the most annoying thing. Work is a great way to identify yourself but I think the fact you are a Detroit Lions fan is much more important. Mainly because it takes someone with big cojones to admit they like that franchise. I am a Redskins fan so I guess I don't have much room to talk. Sometimes you get lucky and someone will tell you something really strange like, " I am from Indianapolis". No joke I have never met anyone from there, my guess you haven't either so shut it.
With all this talk of friendshipping, you have to wonder where the openness comes from. I think I benefited because the people I went on the trip with were confident with themselves first. They had identities, they had personalities, they had the willingness to enjoy life. Everyone I was with was completely open to talk about anything, yea it may have taken some coaxing and a confessional room. Oh I didn't mention this, we had a confessional room. Real World style.... we also had set questions to answer. Did you guys know that penguins have knees?
So in all the fun and excitement, I realized that my joy comes from entertaining people. I am not talking about dominating conversations. I know that sometimes I can get so deep into a conversation that's hard to believe I even took a breath to gather myself. I was bouncing around the kitchen, buzzing up and down each floor. I tried to steal a moment with everyone in the house. See what they were doing, how they were feeling, and what their next fun move was going to be. That was exciting to me, and I am sure everyone in the house took me for a poster child of Attention Deficit Disorder. I guess it's warranted, considering I was asking everyone to give my a high five and jumping up and down like a "Cameron Crazy" pressuring the shooting team on a pong table. They seemed to enjoy it, and it caught on. Everyone was participating and dancing. They found my jokes funny, the kind of jokes that my 10 year old sister glares at me for even trying to pass as funny. In all the fun and games, I realized that I was having fun because they were. I was feeding off of them. I may have brought a smile to their face, but it was really them making me smile. I love that about myself.
That is what Valentines Day is about. Loving your life, your situation enough to care about someone else. It isn't a chore, it is not you showing appreciation because it is the right thing to do. It should not be about that. It should be about you, and if it isn't about you than you are missing the point. I think most people forget that you can only love another person as much as you love yourself. It is easy to say you love someone, harder to show it. You make or break that "love" with how you treat yourself. The best mate, is someone who has come to the realization that they are happy with themselves. Not complacent, but open. Not arrogant, but confident. Not selfish, but selfless. They achieve that identity by essentially worrying about themselves first. They are able to balance their life and achieve their goals. They aren't concerned with telling you about themselves, but concerned to learn about you. See, I love myself. I have a great family, wonderful friends, but I realize there is much to improve. I have humps to get over and goals to achieve. I can't let my problems overwhelm me, let alone the person I am interacting with. I want balance, to be able to do the things that make me happy, and share it with those people who make me happy.
I am by no means perfect or even implying that. Frankly it is pretty easy to fall into regret for my past indiscretions. I will not allow that to happen though. I pledged to myself to learn from mistakes, and take lessons from my surroundings. I pledged to focus on my goals and incorporate those closest to me. Its nice to have a differing opinion, give a little perspective to what your doing (or lack thereof). Valentines Day is about love, if you want to give love you have to be able to receive it. It starts with you, if you can't let people in, you aren't ready. If you won't take care of your own problems how are you going to help anyone solve theirs? See single people, just because you didn't spend a ton of time and money and feel lonely today, doesn't mean today goes to waste. Go do something for yourself. Sign up for that dance or art class at your community center, go for a jog or bike ride on your favorite path, or pull out that scrap book you haven't finished yet. Enjoy this day and realize the more you know yourself, the more others will want know you!
Happy Valentines Day My Valentines <------- By far one of the silliest things I have ever said.
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