Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Debt Crisis
So I haven't done this in a while but I feel like it's about time I get one in. I am sitting at my desk right now way past when I am supposed to be at work attempting to get work done. I did some pretty solid connecting with people. Called a few Indian people and tried to decipher what exactly they do in software engineering. It is always nice to talk to people you have no chance of understanding. It is a lot of repetitive questions and asking them to repeat their last statement. They are probably used to it, and I am sure I don't help with the whole 'self-esteem' thing. I will say I do posses an advantage other people don't....I am a foreigner myself. I know this comes as a surprise because once you read one of my posts you think "wow it is the EE Cummings of blogging" or "man, that moejank is a modern day Harper Lee".... If you don't know who Harper Lee is, you didn't pass middle school English so get yourself to the library and check out To Kill a Mockingbird.
Anyway, you don't need to thank me for this post. I owe you this. I owe it you, like I owe Sallie Mae way too much money for my 'degree'. If any college kids are reading this, please get a technical skill, go to medical school, or get a masters degree. Not to take away from the rest of us, but no matter what you think, four years in college isn't enough fun. Now some parents and peers may read this and say "c'mon Moe, you had plenty of fun at school! you turned VCU inside out." It is true that I ran Richmond like my name is Rick Ross and I didn't need a Maybach to do it. All I needed was a beat up burgundy Nissan Altima and some Air Maxes.....UNNNGHHHH (RICK ROSS VOICE).
Honestly though, there is a reason why I believe you should stay in school for as long as possible. The reason has nothing to do with gaining more knowledge because in this world knowledge isn't power. It is a burden, a burden for you to do the wise and logical thing. For an entry level or a person 2-3 years into their professional life, knowledge is a road block tagged as arrogance and egotism by managers who don't trust you can do a good enough job without them. In reality they need you though and they are probably threatened that their decades of experience were condensed into a 2 hour lecture you attended once a week for a semester. That's just the way the cookie crumbles, and if you aren't smart enough to scoop up all the crumbs until they let you into the door then enjoy waiting tables at the cheesecake factory home-slice.
That though, isn't the reason why you stay in school for a long time. It isn't about knowledge or skills, and it most certainly not about commitment. It comes down to the credit card you are handed once you step into your home room or first period in 9th grade. It isn't an actual credit card, but you can call it a black card. There are no limits on this card, you can use it every day and on anything. There is no bank backing this credit line either and there isn't a single regulation on its use. I call it the "Immaturity Credit Card". It is almost like playing Monopoly and having an endless amount 'of get out jail free' cards. You can literally make bad decision after bad decision, bad purchase after bad purchase, and continue to do so until you get bored.
The Immaturity Credit Card is unlike any other card you have ever seen. It is backed by intellectual capital and adults everywhere are firm believers that giving you a second, third, or tenth chance to succeed will ultimately lead to you learning that you shouldn't schedule an 8am class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday if you are going to go out every Tuesday and Thursday. Or that you should probably not sneak your dads whiskey into your bag on the way to your senior class field trip. That it might be a bit risky to walk into a historical town's candy gift shop and incise a free for-all thieving of candy and soda for the bus ride back to Fairfax.
All of those things are covered by the Immaturity Credit Card. You can literally do what you want and your parents will bail you out. You can ask for a student loan in any amount to make sure that your shopping, drinking, dancing, and drug addiction is completely covered. In some cases you will apply for a job, just to get suspicion off your back and also use it for a money laundering front for the hustling you do on the side. By all means though, you hustle. You play hard, and when there are mid-terms and finals....you kind of work hard too.
Anything is possible with use of this credit card. It is a bigger network of supporters, and people who are on your side wishing and hoping your lackluster attitude towards life and sense of entitlement will turn into appreciation. One thing those supporters forget about is that sometimes you can dump money and effort into a project or lets say a franchise and still come out looking like the Washington Redskins or even the Miami Heat. All the potential in the world, you even get to the ship but still fall a bit short. You have the talent, by all means you have the finances, and are even 'motivated' by the doubters. You still can't make it happen though. Alas, you still have the Immaturity Credit Card, and with a swipe you are back in it again! Nothing is stopping you from success the second go-round......<----sarcasm
So the question becomes when do you pay back your debt? When do you have to learn from your mistakes. For some they just compound debt finding the right answers and combination for success. One investment didn't work so you take another route. Right there in your corner are the people willing to help you succeed, feeding into your "after some introspective thinking, I know what I want to do now" speech....we all have done it. None of us are perfect and we make mistakes. So the swan song can apply to a lot of us. For some we hit our limit and never have to pay it back because there were no real implications to our actions. We have assets that our peers don't have that are able to take care of the actual debt we stack up. Some don't ever come close to maxing out their limit. They hardly use it and make smart decisions and do what they are supposed to with ease and comfort. Others still can make huge mistakes like ice bombing their ex-girlfriends dorm room and are forced to take a semester or two off from school putting their plans at a stand still. Others have to pay it off with actual financial capital. They swiped their card so many times that it went beyond their support circles means to cover. It had to go on their head. They now have to pay it back. They still need whatever support they can get from their safety net or maybe they don't but in one way or another are paying for the immaturity they exhibited in the past.
No matter what we have a system that promotes the 'Immaturity Credit Card' as much as it promotes the Chase Credit card in your wallet. We encourage youth to "learn" on their own. Trial by fire and whatever means necessary to find your calling or make a career choice finally. According to the great novel 'Stuff White People Like', whities enjoy going to Law School. I know of someone who had no idea what they wanted to do and ended up going to Law School so they can do public service and have all their debt forgiven in a decade. As a matter of fact I know a lot of people who did that. It used to be that kids were tied to their families prosperity and hard work was valued, now things have changed. It is the standard to get a bachelor's, obtain a secret clearance, and then work on some classified project that you will end up telling all your buddies about later that night when you meet for kabobs. Responsibility is key and because parents are too busy providing and earning money for the kids extracurricular activities and their dream home, they ask teachers to do it, but teachers don't get paid enough and wish the parents were more involved. In my mind parent teacher conferences are just to discuss the max limit spending on your immaturity card that quarter.
No matter what though, someone is paying for the Immaturity Credit swipes. Whether it be the actual cardholder or the institution that supports them. Some default and some are stuck in major debt contemplating calling the 1-800 number they saw on that infomercial to consolidate their credit and pay it off at some other price (this is called a part-time job). At the end of the day though you can forget about having Social Security (a savings account or buying a house) or maybe you can raise the debt ceiling like your name is Obama....
Monday, June 27, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Rant
Alright, I have had a lot of conversations with friends who have ready my posts. We talk about a lot of things and they make mention to me going "off" on this page. As much as I am flattered by their vision of me as the rapper of bloggers, I don't want to become the Eminem of blogging. That said, if you know me, you know I can get very heated and passionate about certain topics. If you equate certain topics to any and every topic that affects me in anyway then you would understand I have an opinion. So as I listen to this Wale track over and over again and switch to some more deviant hip hop music, I will essentially use this post to speak on our worlds biggest problem. It isn't the environment, it isn't rising gas prices, it isn't hunger, or oppression. It simply comes down to people, and mainly those who have been on this earth longer than 55-56 years.
Now that I have narrowed down who I have put my cross hairs on, I will elaborate for your pleasure (as well as the blood that is pumping through my veins). In my opinion, I can only really say that those people about the age of 55 have just disappointed me. There is evidence of it everywhere you turn. Whether we are discussing the current economic state of this country, the religious tension across the world, or the systematic oppression of people. You can always point your finger to those "adults" we have trusted with power. My intention isn't to implicate every single person above the age of 55. I am sure there are some great ones out there but like my good friend Travis said so pointedly: "Our parents generation has been very disappointing" and as much as I want to agree with him; I feel like it goes on further. They have failed us. As I sit here and contemplate the idea that the United States Government bickers back and forth between parties about how to spend our trillion dollar budget, I wonder why the heck did we even elect these people? With a house representative from my own state coming out and proving that he needs to attend 8th grade civics (Yes Eric Cantor you are a moron) . I wonder why there is so much pressure on us? As a 20 year old's and a college students we end up paying for their lack of compromise and understanding. We of course elect these politicians knowing well they don't really care about what their constituents need, but we have to vote for the lesser of two evils in the hopes they will do something positive. Clearly we were mistaken. The generation of world "leaders" seem to have regressed us in every sense. We all have a boss who doesn't listen to our suggestions, it gets to the point where we don't even feel like it is necessary to speak up anymore. Forget our education, forget our energy, forget our ambition because at the end of the day their experience outweighs us all. Makes sense doesn't it?
So we end up paying for their mistakes. For instance Greece, where they decided that sitting around eating souvlaki was much more important than advancing their society. I mean it makes sense, Greece peaked after Socrates. It was all down hill from there. I am positive no 18 year old Greek said "hey, why don't we just sit around and eat olives all day?" although that same 18 year old not knowing any better thought it was awesome and agreed to it. I am also pretty sure that the senseless deaths of Israelis and Palestinians weren't thought out and planned by the hands that executed them. Nope, the youth only suffer while the adults seek personal power and wealth. Of course we are taught it is for the good of us all, but really what good is it doing? It most certainly wasn't the hordes of Egyptian youth (mainly female) who protested peacefully and forced a tyrant to retreat to some foreign resort that initially agreed to him being in power for 30 years while he systematically destroyed Egypt's middle class and eliminated the working class. Actually those are all those 50 and 60 year old's who could have had the energy to demand changes, faults. They instead picked the leisure of a hookah bar at night or to flee their homeland all together and go teach Saudi and Kuwaiti brats.
If you watch the news you see a lot of pundits on T.V. telling you what to do, and how to do it. They want to explain to you that their point of view is correct and having a different one means you are a terrorist. Or if not a terrorist, a socialist, an anarchist, a hippie, or on drugs. A lot of times these same adults have sidekicks that are closer to our age. The hope is we can relate to the Ivy League pretty person regurgitating what Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh said before we woke up. There is plenty good in this world, but unfortunately there is even more bad. The only way to fix it is to listen to Keith Olbermann make fun of an out of context soundbite from a tea partyer or Glenn Beck draw some sort of pie chart on a chalk board. I guess Hannity has a stronghold on all of the overhead projectors? At the end of the day it is their way, or no way.
They are right, they are going to lead us on the right path. They are going to bring us back! My only question is, who the f@ck are you? As a matter of fact, I know a ten year old little girl that has more wisdom in her pinkie than most people I have met over 55. Her name is Leena Sayed and she is happy to consult you. As Jeff Foxworthy has shown most of America these same men aren't as smart as a 5th grader. Now we all have parents, and some of us have very successful parents. Some of our parents are less successful. That is the nature of the world, but at the end of the day our parents want us to have a better life than them. So they do everything in their power to advise us on how to do that. It is a noble gesture of theirs to look out for us that way. I would argue though that once we get to about 24 years old, their advice is null and void. I mean I am going by the age in which we are coming on to a quarter of a century. For some of us, we have to grow up faster, and others still haven't grown up. At the end of the day though, you can never really explain your mothers love. It can't be measured, but they still judge the hell out of you. They still measure you against other people from the neighborhood/ book club/ or gym's kid. Your father's love can be measured, he is always in some sort of competition in his mind. A lot of times we are fed the idea of unconditional love, well that isn't true.
Parents use you as a measuring stick for their own selfishness. This is a new phenomenon for society. When the baby boomers did so well post WWII they created our parents who have been spoon fed all their lives. Not their fault, but they could never be the baby boomers. Thank god they aren't either, because baby boomers are out of touch. Side Note: All baby boomers should report to some community in a warm place, where we can communicate with them via Skype and Gchat and stay off the roads and normal human being stuff. Seriously just go away and don't worry about it. It would create jobs for people who like old people, and it would mean I am not slamming my breaks on I-95 behind the Crown Victoria going 40 miles per hour. I don't want to hurt feelings but I imagine it is a bit too late. The mistakes our parents made are used as red flags and scare tactics to get us to avoid using our gut. They aren't necessary lessons learned but more means to persuade us to comply. If the United States were the Kansas Jayhawks and kept failing to make the final four at the hands of mid majors like...South Korea which we will call VCU or Northern Iowa. The leader would be fired. Yes that is Obama, Pelosi, and Boehner who would be gone (Bill Self sucks). It is time to look at our elders in the face and say "hang it up". All of them seem to think they are Brett Favre, and you see what happened to the Vikings. It is time for the 20 and 30 year old's to take a grasp over government and private business. It is time for us to shake things up and demand what we deserve.
Flat out, they had their chance and they failed. They were masked by ideals, and pretty language but all they have done is brought us down. I am sick of taking advice from failures. Their sense of accomplishment is inflated and then transferred in the form or graduate degrees, extra-curricular activities, and hectic schedules for us. We have worked our asses off so that we can be "qualified" for jobs held by those who are lesser versions of us. We are smarter than them, we are more energetic, and we are more savvy. We can't sit back anymore and let our fate be dictated by silly law makers and bad business men. Alright that is enough for now, if you took offense to any of this, I really don't care. It is my opinion and you can't say a damn thing about it....
Friday, March 25, 2011
David is a Goliath
So last night was the culmination of a pretty amazing sporting event. I did not watch the first half at all though. I was too busy watching Aaron Eckhert figure out how to cripple an alien invasion in the streets of Santa Monica and Los Angeles. If you think about it though Battlefield LA and the NCAA national championship game have a lot of similarities. You have the attackers and evil doers who travel into our polluted atmosphere to harvest our earth and steal our water. Then there are the unsuspecting "too busy fighting some other war" Marines who could never have imagined they would be fighting this finely tuned advanced machine in the Alien forces coming into earth.
So clearly Butler would be the Marines, and Matt Howard (the goofy slow hardworking senior) would play Aaron Eckhert. Shelvin Mack would be Ne-Yo, who is trying to get through the war to finally marry his wife who he is planning a wedding with in the first scenes of the film. In this case Mack is just trying to get out the game unscathed so he can get married to Daniel Stern the NBA commissioner and make millions of dollars hooping alongside other Butler greats like......Gordon Haywerd? Butler somehow is the underdog...let me repeat this. The team who played in this same exact game the year before were again the UNDERDOGS against traditional powerhouse UConn, led by the head alien Jim Calhoun and his lightening fast killer alien general Kemba Walker.
Casual observers, some sports fans, and especially the media love the underdog story. It is apart of our history that dates back to pre-biblical times. We are all raised on the notion that as a community you can raise up greater than your individual parts to accomplish greatness. That the last thing you would do is count little Thomas the train engine out when it comes to pulling a load three times his weight. We are inspired by those stories and they bring us hope. Take America for example, would we be a country if we didn't stand our ground against the English? Forget about the facts in this example. We all know they were just trying to tax us for wars they felt needed to be waged regardless of our feelings about them (cough cough Iraq/Libya/Vietnam). As Americans we stood up and said "We don't want your stinking tea" and "No taxation without Representation" as well as "Give me liberty or give me death". The point is we were the underdogs, the little guys standing up to the giant. The big dumb English giant who wanted to ballroom dance and eat crumpets.
Okay, enough with the history lessons. I am going to get down to it. We are a nation of overachievers. We strive to be the best in everything we do. It is an imprint in the DNA of every inhabitant of the 50 states. With the exception of Maryland and New Jersey where they refuse to become better drivers and to make left turns. Like come on New Jersey, why do I need to make a roundabout right turn? Are you trying to waste my gas so I have to awkwardly sit in my car while some 19 year old freezes his butt of pumping my gas and cleaning my windshield?! Maryland drivers are just the worst, they treat every road like it is the Audubon. That being said Mark Zuckerburg is from New Jersey and his website started a revolution in my country and a Maryland University graduate created Under Armor and opened up a whole new athletic apparel segment that Nike and Addidas are trying to catch up in. So in every state there is a story of a regular Joe or Josephine who make it big and impacts the world in such a major way. We are a nation of underdogs. Proving that hard work can trump talent and privilege any day of the week.
Now I am a Duke basketball fan, I like them and I take a lot of heat for it as well. I don't mind because y'all just hatin (Vince Vaughn from "Be Cool" voice). They are not an underdog they are a powerhouse school in a power conference that everyone loves to hate. The night Arizona beat Duke in the tournament I could have put restraining orders on dozens of my closest friends for harassment. After careful consideration I voted against it because deep down they still had some redeeming qualities. Plus no one wants to explain why they are on http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/. Duke had an early exit, but VCU my Alma mater made their stay a little longer. They beat 5 different teams from 5 different power conferences. As the team that was first 4 in defeated and deflated their opponents in their run to the final four you could also see the wheels on their bandwagon slowly lose air.
No one in the country had really heard of VCU and if they had they probably thought they shouldn't be in the tournament. That being said, VCU was included into the mix and took on the role of David and pounded 5 "Goliaths" to win their region and play in the Final Four. It was a record breaking run to the Final Four, no team had one 5 games to reach the that stage and VCU had never made it that far into the tournament. Some will say that VCU played better than anyone in the tournament and did it with a bit of flare. Their run ended at the hands of Butler another Cinderella story of the tournament. Only fitting that there would be one David commissioned to take on a Goliath coming from the other side of the bracket. So we cheer for the underdog and we pray for the oppressed. It is in our nature, because we all want to feel normal. We all want to know that anything is possible and it isn't just some tag line Disney glossed up in the shape of Hannah Montana. This is real life stuff that drives Americans and it is what makes us unique. We defy social structure, we drive through thunderstorms of adversity and make it out on the other end with our head held high. This is who we are, and quite frankly because of it we have collectively become Goliath. Who really wants a piece of the United States?! We strive to be greater than our individual parts and are united behind ideals of success and prosperity.
We stick up for the little guys (privately) because we know that we can. George Clooney is leading the charge in Darfur, for goodness sake he is a movie star. He uses his influence to bring light to a subject we can hardly get our representatives to take on. We are a machine (sometimes) finely tuned and focused because we have our small parts. Overachieving and thriving under any circumstance and racing harder and faster than any Chinese person.... Well maybe we aren't this anymore. Maybe we rubbed off on everyone in the world. They were inspired by our David's, by our under dogs, and our hard work. We have it in us though. Like we cheer for the most unlikely and pray for those who have less. Like we battle to win social wars for human rights across the globe, we can do it here at home. We are a Giant made of dwarfs. Dwarfs unwilling to feel inferior, unwilling to be brought down and bewildered. It isn't a Napoleon complex, no one likes the French. It is the American way, it is what makes us great and what can launch us to heights we never imagined. I hope you take it to the next level in your life. Love yourself, love your family, appreciate what you are given and make the best use of it. For me it is remembering that God has given me gifts and that I have to graciously receive them and pay him back by being the best person I can.
Have a wonderful week everyone! Make someone smile, do something to make yourself smile, and be positive! You can accomplish anything...well I wont say anything because I can't dunk on a 10ft rim and that probably won't happen ever.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Most Important thing Pt.2 Continued
So I am back to my old ways. Kind of just woke up from a deep literary slumber, and feel really ready to knock one of these out. Now before we begin I do feel an obligation to catch you up on what has been going all around us. Just in case you are like 90% of America and deliberately ignore the fact that the world is round, and there are things happening outside of your city. It really is amazing how people just neglect there are other human beings that inhabit this earth and look, dress, smell, and think differently than them. So for a quick recap:
1. Charlie Sheen is a very rich crazy person who has destroyed the word "winning" and gave Lorne Michaels and SNL a jolt of tiger blood. (Bill Heder is awesome)
2. The Situation was at the Roast of Donald Trump and got booed off the stage.
3. Tiger Woods has a new Girlfriend
4. Chris Brown went "Four Loko" on the set of Good Morning America dressed as a stretched out Sisqo.
5. Some stuff is happening in Libya, and Muammar Qaddafi is still a war criminal
6. The earth reminded us again that we are only temporary after it decided to ransack Japan. (please donate to the red cross for the Japanese people and keep them in your thoughts)
7. Paul King a U.S. legislator and member of the IRA accused all American Muslims of being members of Al-Qeada and had some panel of random people sit in and agree with him.
8. March Madness began and of course there were some awesome upsets, including Morehead State destroying my 10 year old sisters bracket. (she had Louisville was going to the Final Four and by "she" I mean I filled it out that way)
9. VCU keeps dominating teams from the AP top 25, and giving greater meaning to the money I spent getting a degree there. Shout out to Coach Smart and his players Skeen, Rodriguez, Burgess, Nixon, Rozzel, Reddic, and the rest of the squad! You guys make my education more valuable with each victory!
10. I discovered Sports Dome, thus making ONN (Onion News Network) the most amazing thing to happen in comedy.
So that's a full recap of what happened, a lot of other crap happened but I wanted to keep this Letterman-Esq with the top ten things I heard the most about. Not because they are important but more because this is my blog and I get to write what I want. (Read it or leave Brian Tran)
Now onto this post. Very early on I took a unique approach at describing what the most important thing was to me on the dance floor. It was very descriptive critique at what I have noticed women tend to proclaim is dancing. Now this is a continuation of that conversation because I was advised that I should be fair and balanced. So in the spirit of Fox News I am going to do just that. My time on this desktop will solely be aimed at assisting those of us with a X and Y chromosome how to be efficient on the dance floor. Too many times men become gaudy or needy on the floor as opposed to what their true role is.
So as a heterosexual man, I can only speak to other ones. I want to make clear that my views and opinions on this matter are meant for the guy trying to dance with a girl. Gentleman, let me be clear... your role is that of support/escort/and highlighter. You are not the body of work on the dance floor, you are the staple that holds the document together. You aren't a leading man on the red carpet you are that guy who knocked up Natalie Portman. You are not the piece of information pivotal to the exam you are just the florescent accent over top of the ink. So that being said, here are few things men should remember when dancing.
Let me start off by saying, the movie's Step Up were horrible. The only good thing that came out of them was Channing Tatum. Dance circles and battles with other guys are just ridiculous and probably uncool unless you live in Florida. (For some reason or another break dancing and all that jazz is still very cool down there). Now, I will say that you can indict me on charges of breaking my own rules, but I have thought about this a lot. I am in my mid 20's and yes I can dance but today goes down as the day in which I give up being the Jester at a dance party. Yes everyone who knows me will probably be upset but honestly, I am getting old, my knees are getting weaker, and I rather not be on showcase for everyone else's amusement. My wish is for you guys to stop trying to hog some sort of attention by creating these dance circles. It attracts the bad kind of attention, i.e. drunk white guys who want to be involved and really serious dancers dispatched onto the dance floor to judge your every moment. Now it is always fun to win such people over but at the end of the day it isn't about that.
Next fellas is the hand motions that you all seem to rely on for your lack of footwork and hip-flexer muscle. Put your hands down, there is no need for you to wave your hands around like you are in a gang. The drink in your hand doesn't require a birds eye view of the dance floor either and boasting your cranras-tini to a crowd of girls does not scream "I GOT MONEY" or "I HAVE TASTE" it more resembles " I get my nails done more than you.." to a female. Stop beating the beat "The Situation", Pauly D isn't on the wheels of steel and Snooki wants nothing to do with your pickle unless you are tan, gelled up, and wearing a rhinestone tiger saving a unicorn from a horrific helicopter accident. Your hands are not needed at any point of the dancing. Just avoid overly using your hands and arms to express your jubilation with the music being played. All it really does is take up space and invade the space of those around you. You are not only attracting bad attention to yourself you are probably going to hit someone in the face.
Finally gentleman, we are no longer in middle school. You shouldn't be trying to grind on your female counterpart. Most of the time I can never tell if it is a deliberate decision to dance that close or the two involved are so intoxicated or tired that they are trying to hold each other up. It looks extremely sloppy and immature. What exactly do you do that for? There is no reason I can think of other than a mans fetish of voyeurism to attempt to get that close to a woman for an extended period of time in public. I think it actually should be illegal to watch every article of clothing on that female ride up. Innocent spectators like me are exposed to the flaws that these guys will not discover until the next morning. In most cases if there is a woman allowing you to do that in a club then she attends George Mason University and is in English 101 or she has lost her "bff's" and you are going to be feeling really blue later. I don't know whats better dropping the girl off at her dormitory in the morning or the empty but yet blood filled feeling you have after that experience.
So gentleman here is my advice, instead of causing all sorts of strange attention to yourself I recommend doing a few things different. First, just bob your head or tap your feet. It is OK to get into the music but you don't want to just start dancing in your own world. People get weirded out by that, now I do it because I like repel people. It is a weird habit I have of being in a social place and doing everything I can to avoid socializing with people. If you stay in a small radius roughly the size of your shoulder, you allow for people to make eye contact as well as not obstruct any ones path or movement. It really is an easier way to meet a person if that is your goal and also gives you the ability to be cognizant of what their state of mind is. Another thing you should remember is that if you are in the act of dancing with a girl you should keep a good distance and dance with her so she can feel like she is a Rihanna video and the "only girl in the world". Don't take the spotlight away from her but let her express herself and feel sexy and valuable. Give her a twirl...but not to many twirls because no one likes ballroom dancing. Avoid too much footwork, I am positive that 80% of the people reading this don't salsa so STOP pretending like you can. It is really weird to watch a guy try and work his hips and mix in footwork. It more resembles Ronaldihno dribbling a soccer ball than dancing. Now if you are at a salsa bar, or you can actually do it with a girl who is also knowledgeable then by all means take it south of the border. If you are there and you are trying to teach the girl how to do it, take her no rhythm having booty somewhere else (preferably to a dance studio).
I hope that everyone has learned a little something about what is acceptable when dancing. Men should not be the center piece of any dance floor unless they are getting paid to do so. If you are a male stripper like my friend Z then by all means dance away. If you are out on the town, keep your hands and arms in side the radius of your shoulders at all times, stop beating up the beat, remember it isn't a step or tap dancing competition, and really remember you aren't there to prove you have skills. If that were the case there would be a cash prize or a camera crew filming you in 3D/Slow motion.
As always I hope you have a wonderful day and that you enjoyed a little bit more of my thoughts!
1. Charlie Sheen is a very rich crazy person who has destroyed the word "winning" and gave Lorne Michaels and SNL a jolt of tiger blood. (Bill Heder is awesome)
2. The Situation was at the Roast of Donald Trump and got booed off the stage.
3. Tiger Woods has a new Girlfriend
4. Chris Brown went "Four Loko" on the set of Good Morning America dressed as a stretched out Sisqo.
5. Some stuff is happening in Libya, and Muammar Qaddafi is still a war criminal
6. The earth reminded us again that we are only temporary after it decided to ransack Japan. (please donate to the red cross for the Japanese people and keep them in your thoughts)
7. Paul King a U.S. legislator and member of the IRA accused all American Muslims of being members of Al-Qeada and had some panel of random people sit in and agree with him.
8. March Madness began and of course there were some awesome upsets, including Morehead State destroying my 10 year old sisters bracket. (she had Louisville was going to the Final Four and by "she" I mean I filled it out that way)
9. VCU keeps dominating teams from the AP top 25, and giving greater meaning to the money I spent getting a degree there. Shout out to Coach Smart and his players Skeen, Rodriguez, Burgess, Nixon, Rozzel, Reddic, and the rest of the squad! You guys make my education more valuable with each victory!
10. I discovered Sports Dome, thus making ONN (Onion News Network) the most amazing thing to happen in comedy.
So that's a full recap of what happened, a lot of other crap happened but I wanted to keep this Letterman-Esq with the top ten things I heard the most about. Not because they are important but more because this is my blog and I get to write what I want. (Read it or leave Brian Tran)
Now onto this post. Very early on I took a unique approach at describing what the most important thing was to me on the dance floor. It was very descriptive critique at what I have noticed women tend to proclaim is dancing. Now this is a continuation of that conversation because I was advised that I should be fair and balanced. So in the spirit of Fox News I am going to do just that. My time on this desktop will solely be aimed at assisting those of us with a X and Y chromosome how to be efficient on the dance floor. Too many times men become gaudy or needy on the floor as opposed to what their true role is.
So as a heterosexual man, I can only speak to other ones. I want to make clear that my views and opinions on this matter are meant for the guy trying to dance with a girl. Gentleman, let me be clear... your role is that of support/escort/and highlighter. You are not the body of work on the dance floor, you are the staple that holds the document together. You aren't a leading man on the red carpet you are that guy who knocked up Natalie Portman. You are not the piece of information pivotal to the exam you are just the florescent accent over top of the ink. So that being said, here are few things men should remember when dancing.
Let me start off by saying, the movie's Step Up were horrible. The only good thing that came out of them was Channing Tatum. Dance circles and battles with other guys are just ridiculous and probably uncool unless you live in Florida. (For some reason or another break dancing and all that jazz is still very cool down there). Now, I will say that you can indict me on charges of breaking my own rules, but I have thought about this a lot. I am in my mid 20's and yes I can dance but today goes down as the day in which I give up being the Jester at a dance party. Yes everyone who knows me will probably be upset but honestly, I am getting old, my knees are getting weaker, and I rather not be on showcase for everyone else's amusement. My wish is for you guys to stop trying to hog some sort of attention by creating these dance circles. It attracts the bad kind of attention, i.e. drunk white guys who want to be involved and really serious dancers dispatched onto the dance floor to judge your every moment. Now it is always fun to win such people over but at the end of the day it isn't about that.
Next fellas is the hand motions that you all seem to rely on for your lack of footwork and hip-flexer muscle. Put your hands down, there is no need for you to wave your hands around like you are in a gang. The drink in your hand doesn't require a birds eye view of the dance floor either and boasting your cranras-tini to a crowd of girls does not scream "I GOT MONEY" or "I HAVE TASTE" it more resembles " I get my nails done more than you.." to a female. Stop beating the beat "The Situation", Pauly D isn't on the wheels of steel and Snooki wants nothing to do with your pickle unless you are tan, gelled up, and wearing a rhinestone tiger saving a unicorn from a horrific helicopter accident. Your hands are not needed at any point of the dancing. Just avoid overly using your hands and arms to express your jubilation with the music being played. All it really does is take up space and invade the space of those around you. You are not only attracting bad attention to yourself you are probably going to hit someone in the face.
Finally gentleman, we are no longer in middle school. You shouldn't be trying to grind on your female counterpart. Most of the time I can never tell if it is a deliberate decision to dance that close or the two involved are so intoxicated or tired that they are trying to hold each other up. It looks extremely sloppy and immature. What exactly do you do that for? There is no reason I can think of other than a mans fetish of voyeurism to attempt to get that close to a woman for an extended period of time in public. I think it actually should be illegal to watch every article of clothing on that female ride up. Innocent spectators like me are exposed to the flaws that these guys will not discover until the next morning. In most cases if there is a woman allowing you to do that in a club then she attends George Mason University and is in English 101 or she has lost her "bff's" and you are going to be feeling really blue later. I don't know whats better dropping the girl off at her dormitory in the morning or the empty but yet blood filled feeling you have after that experience.
So gentleman here is my advice, instead of causing all sorts of strange attention to yourself I recommend doing a few things different. First, just bob your head or tap your feet. It is OK to get into the music but you don't want to just start dancing in your own world. People get weirded out by that, now I do it because I like repel people. It is a weird habit I have of being in a social place and doing everything I can to avoid socializing with people. If you stay in a small radius roughly the size of your shoulder, you allow for people to make eye contact as well as not obstruct any ones path or movement. It really is an easier way to meet a person if that is your goal and also gives you the ability to be cognizant of what their state of mind is. Another thing you should remember is that if you are in the act of dancing with a girl you should keep a good distance and dance with her so she can feel like she is a Rihanna video and the "only girl in the world". Don't take the spotlight away from her but let her express herself and feel sexy and valuable. Give her a twirl...but not to many twirls because no one likes ballroom dancing. Avoid too much footwork, I am positive that 80% of the people reading this don't salsa so STOP pretending like you can. It is really weird to watch a guy try and work his hips and mix in footwork. It more resembles Ronaldihno dribbling a soccer ball than dancing. Now if you are at a salsa bar, or you can actually do it with a girl who is also knowledgeable then by all means take it south of the border. If you are there and you are trying to teach the girl how to do it, take her no rhythm having booty somewhere else (preferably to a dance studio).
I hope that everyone has learned a little something about what is acceptable when dancing. Men should not be the center piece of any dance floor unless they are getting paid to do so. If you are a male stripper like my friend Z then by all means dance away. If you are out on the town, keep your hands and arms in side the radius of your shoulders at all times, stop beating up the beat, remember it isn't a step or tap dancing competition, and really remember you aren't there to prove you have skills. If that were the case there would be a cash prize or a camera crew filming you in 3D/Slow motion.
As always I hope you have a wonderful day and that you enjoyed a little bit more of my thoughts!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Lent-il Soup for the Soul
Hey everyone, I apologize for not getting one of these in sooner. I have had a busy week and unfortunately it has taken me away from my passion. By passion I mean surfing the web and deciding what topic I should focus on. I also use T.V. and good friends to stimulate my intricate blog posts that have had you so riveted. I am kidding of course, I doubt I write anything that keeps you all on the edge of your seats. If I do I am honored and humbled....and if you aren't sure what that looks like. Picture a Duke basketball player slapping the court and beating his chest, because he knew he was going to dominate your mind with amazing food for thought!
Speaking of food, I have several friends going through their 40-days of Lent. Of course not being Catholic myself, I only realized this on Ash Wednesday. Outside of not eating meat and substituting it with Fish on Friday, many also opt to give up their most sinful indulgences. Now I go through Ramadan once a year and I totally understand the idea and the benefit of such a spiritual time. Although I understand its importance I still enjoy the perspectives of those who live it, hearing it from my friends gives it more relavance.
As my friends typically do, I received an email from a friend laying out plans for what sounded like an awesome weekend. Just in case you wanted to know how to plan an excellent weekend do the following gentleman:
1. Cook Italian Food on a Friday Night and watch College Basketball and Hockey
2. Wake up late Saturday discuss in depth topics like bust size during brunch at your local Dennys
3. Watch more Basketball
4. Grill Meat
5. Hit the town and make a fool of yourself by dancing to a Myley Cyrus Song.
6. Fit in a Vampire movie starring Leslie Nielsen or Snoop Dogg
Anyway, the author of this amazing email mentioned how he was being proactive and avoiding doing certain things. I remembered that he was a devout Catholic who was trying to honor his promises to God and exhibit constraint and sacrifice. I chatted him up a bit and came to the conclusion that his journey to personal growth was in many ways rooted to the sacrifices he was able to make for his own good.
Recently I haven't been a stranger to sacrificing things in my life. I gave up all drinks that have caffeine or sugar. Now if you have read earlier posts or know me personally, you know this is a large undertaking. I am happy to say I have been this way for two weeks now, but this is a sizeable change in my life. It is as if there was a sugar and caffeine ruler, dictating all the things my body did and was bringing it down to its lowest physical state. For the first week, my body revolted against this cruel unjust dietary dictator. It struggled through fits of low energy and a headache or two. In the end the body and soul was freed with minimal casualties. Clearly all Arabs are revolting against one thing or the other, and I was feeling a bit left out. Sacrificing this large section of my Food Pyramid has been a tough task but I am looking forward to the future. Feeling better everyday and instead of craving a Monster or a coffee, I prefer some Water with a little Crystal Light. I have never been this hydrated in my life, I think I restored the balance of my body. 70% water, 30% mass and 100% where amazing happens (just like the NBA).
So with all this proactive sacrifice going on, my main message is this: You can always stand to give up something small in order to better your life or another.
We all have seen documentaries and news segments highlighting people who have had to make sacrifices as well as those who have chosen to do so in order to help themselves or others. I think it is an excellent lesson to learn. We live in the age of A.D.D. and we already give up on everything very quickly. Well that being said, what we should focus on is how we can make sacrifices proactively to improve situations. This can look like a lot of different things, you can give up a fattening food that you don't need in your diet. You can use the 5 dollars you will spend on something silly and donate it to an important cause. Even still you can give up some of your own personal time to make another persons feel special. In our lifetime there are opportunities to make decisions that can effect us positively later. In many cases it is deciding what we will be sacrificing.
Now I am no lovey dovey hippie, I have a business degree. I see practicality and I know that your Total Revenue- Total Cost = Total Profit. There is always going to be a cost, but if you can manage your costs properly and effectively you can yield a higher profit. Yes this may seem childishly simple, but in reality it is simple for you to make small sacrifices that can boost you and others every day. I urge you to make those sacrifices so that you continue to succeed and grow. I also hope that you take the opportunity to make a small sacrifice for the sake of others. Who knows, your 5 dollar bill may help people more than you can imagine, the time you spend being a mentor can help a kid realize their ambitions, or even lose a few pounds not eating that donut in the morning!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
Speaking of food, I have several friends going through their 40-days of Lent. Of course not being Catholic myself, I only realized this on Ash Wednesday. Outside of not eating meat and substituting it with Fish on Friday, many also opt to give up their most sinful indulgences. Now I go through Ramadan once a year and I totally understand the idea and the benefit of such a spiritual time. Although I understand its importance I still enjoy the perspectives of those who live it, hearing it from my friends gives it more relavance.
As my friends typically do, I received an email from a friend laying out plans for what sounded like an awesome weekend. Just in case you wanted to know how to plan an excellent weekend do the following gentleman:
1. Cook Italian Food on a Friday Night and watch College Basketball and Hockey
2. Wake up late Saturday discuss in depth topics like bust size during brunch at your local Dennys
3. Watch more Basketball
4. Grill Meat
5. Hit the town and make a fool of yourself by dancing to a Myley Cyrus Song.
6. Fit in a Vampire movie starring Leslie Nielsen or Snoop Dogg
Anyway, the author of this amazing email mentioned how he was being proactive and avoiding doing certain things. I remembered that he was a devout Catholic who was trying to honor his promises to God and exhibit constraint and sacrifice. I chatted him up a bit and came to the conclusion that his journey to personal growth was in many ways rooted to the sacrifices he was able to make for his own good.
Recently I haven't been a stranger to sacrificing things in my life. I gave up all drinks that have caffeine or sugar. Now if you have read earlier posts or know me personally, you know this is a large undertaking. I am happy to say I have been this way for two weeks now, but this is a sizeable change in my life. It is as if there was a sugar and caffeine ruler, dictating all the things my body did and was bringing it down to its lowest physical state. For the first week, my body revolted against this cruel unjust dietary dictator. It struggled through fits of low energy and a headache or two. In the end the body and soul was freed with minimal casualties. Clearly all Arabs are revolting against one thing or the other, and I was feeling a bit left out. Sacrificing this large section of my Food Pyramid has been a tough task but I am looking forward to the future. Feeling better everyday and instead of craving a Monster or a coffee, I prefer some Water with a little Crystal Light. I have never been this hydrated in my life, I think I restored the balance of my body. 70% water, 30% mass and 100% where amazing happens (just like the NBA).
So with all this proactive sacrifice going on, my main message is this: You can always stand to give up something small in order to better your life or another.
We all have seen documentaries and news segments highlighting people who have had to make sacrifices as well as those who have chosen to do so in order to help themselves or others. I think it is an excellent lesson to learn. We live in the age of A.D.D. and we already give up on everything very quickly. Well that being said, what we should focus on is how we can make sacrifices proactively to improve situations. This can look like a lot of different things, you can give up a fattening food that you don't need in your diet. You can use the 5 dollars you will spend on something silly and donate it to an important cause. Even still you can give up some of your own personal time to make another persons feel special. In our lifetime there are opportunities to make decisions that can effect us positively later. In many cases it is deciding what we will be sacrificing.
Now I am no lovey dovey hippie, I have a business degree. I see practicality and I know that your Total Revenue- Total Cost = Total Profit. There is always going to be a cost, but if you can manage your costs properly and effectively you can yield a higher profit. Yes this may seem childishly simple, but in reality it is simple for you to make small sacrifices that can boost you and others every day. I urge you to make those sacrifices so that you continue to succeed and grow. I also hope that you take the opportunity to make a small sacrifice for the sake of others. Who knows, your 5 dollar bill may help people more than you can imagine, the time you spend being a mentor can help a kid realize their ambitions, or even lose a few pounds not eating that donut in the morning!
Have a wonderful weekend everyone!
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