The Only Thing that Matters

So as many of you may or may not know, A revolt is occurring in my home country. I was born in Egypt and my parents brought our family here to take advantage of opportunities that were not as accessible there. Clearly their reasoning is justified from the view in our comfortable leather couches as we watch our people fight to be able to put a good meal on their table. Outside of the major political significance of the protests, another thing can be learned about Egyptians and mainly me. We like to eat! I am constantly chuckling at the sight of an angry Arab man yelling at Anderson Cooper about how his protests are because Hosni Mubarak won't let him feed his family. These Arab men usually resemble some of my dads friends, meaning they have really skinny arms, a small chest, a closely cropped haircut, and the belly of a pregnant gorilla. This is usually how it goes:

Anderson Cooper: "What are you here for? What is your goal?"

Random Egyptian: " VWe vwant Hosni Mubarak to gho! BLEASE HOSNI GHO!"

If you are concerned that I forgot how to spell certain words, be at ease. Thats how Egyptians speak English. Egyptians can ruin anything. Languages (even Arabic) , Politics, and their blood pressure are amongst the many things they can drag down to depths never seen before and in the case of blood pressure levels higher than modern medical science can explain (slight exaggeration). Needless to say Egyptians love food, thats why they are rioting and why universal healthcare may be a bad idea in America.

Let me get personal here, I am not trying to degrade my countrymen. Just use them to give you a metaphor for my love of a certain food group. If you know anything about me you know three things. I am a pretty good dresser, I am a really good dancer, and I love CANDY. So without further ado, ladies and gentleman the new Food Pyramid:

So this is "therealmoejank Food pyramid". Man I am so Egyptian I built a pyramid. Hold your applause until the end, thank you...

The Pyramid like most starts from the bottom, the building blocks to my love of candy and the most important ones. These are the candies that are soft or chewy and bring you the highest levels of artificial flavor. Starbursts, Skittles, and Gummi's are essential to every diet. Not only because there is almost no nutritional value to them, but because they provide a jolt to your taste buds and your blood stream. Wiring the consumer for action and preparing them for a day of being really sweet and an evening crash that makes you oh so sour. I am salivating at the thought of unwrapping a yellow lemon flavored Starburst, or using my thumb to punch a hole into the top corner of a box of Mike and Ikes.

Next in the building blocks of therealmoejank diet plan, is the hard fruit candy. You have a number of hard candies that can bring you a marathon of flavor. Willy Wonka knew what he was doing when he created the everlasting gobstopper. Imagine yourself in a lecture hall listening to a professor of economics explain the marginalization of your time and how to spend it efficiently. You are instantly light years ahead of your peers because not only are you diligently taking notes you are enjoying it with a Life Saver candy nestling on your tongue. Thats flavornomics people.

We continue up the pyramid and find an even split of blocks. These two deserve no real distinction from each other because they serve very different but equal satisfactions. On the left you quench your thirst with what my dear friend Mark tags as "liquid candy". This is Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and the Energy Drink family that gets therealmoejank hype to punch time cards as well as get moving on the dance floor. Why Pepsi and Mountain Dew? Simple these two offer a level of sugar that coke products don't achieve. They are also the gateway drinks to 'Monsters', 'Red Bulls', and a 'Full Throttle' 'Rockstar' lifestyle guaranteed to keep you 'Amp'd' for about two hours. After that usually you will experience a severe emotional breakdown or a light coma. Depends on your body type in all honesty.

On the right side you have your mints, gums, and other sweet treats that help you practice safe breathing. Listen just because you can't smell whats coming out of your mouth does not mean that the person unnaturally close to you can't either. You should as a precaution keep these products around so that you can overpower that "double cheeseburger chicken salad falafel sandwich" you bought isn't blistering someones nostrils.bad breathe technically does not cause nose bleeds, but it may pack a bigger punch than Floyd Mayweather.

Now we come to the very top and the end. To me the least important. I know the ladies are probably trying to google my address so that they can personally deliver a beating to me for saying this, but I am going to do it anyway. Chocolate is the least important, it has too many natural things in it. It offers way to many health benefits, and you may say "thats why its so good". The only thing I can tell you is that if it isn't artificial than I am not interested. Now this does not apply to everything in my life. I like natural things such as meat, vegetables, breasts.....you know the good stuff. Chocolate is the last simply because it offers your body too much and it is easily found on this earth. If I were to survive in the post apocalyptic world, I would be able to get chocolate whenever I want. However I would not get to enjoy the wonders of a micro-laboratory of sugar and food coloring. I doubt Robots will be interested in producing Nerds, although it would be a brilliant idea to catch me. I would follow the trail like my name is Ratatouille.

I am not sure if its troubling that this as deep as I get about candy or a good sign. You decide and of course you are welcome to attack me for my opinions. Thats why I am doing this! Love you people.

Playground Syndrome

So I have been thinking long and hard what exactly I should talk about this weekend. Nothing really special happened to me, which is rare. I can usually have some magnificent thing happen, so that being said I will discuss another theory of mine. I think shedding light on this subject will probably make you smirk and laugh a bit, but at the same time you will be reminded of something or someone who has exhibited symptoms of this disease.

My theories have no scientific proof, but I am sure if lets say the "Brookings Institute" wanted to spend some time on it I will be justified. Honestly I am usually right about everything that I say! That is a joke for all you Moejank detractors. I am only arrogant in the sense of being funny. For instance; You: "Hey Moejank thats a nice shirt" Moejank: " Of course it is, why else would I have it on?" Okay, I got it out and I am ready to explain my theory.

Playground syndrome affects mainly the female gender. In many cases a male can catch this disease. It begins in your formative years, an idea placed into a young girls mind (inception) that will stick with her until she is grown and in serious relationships with the other sex. It usually occurs on the play yard but can take place in the classroom or other social gatherings. A young girl will approach an adult, whether it be a parent or teacher. It will always be someone the girl trusts to help them solve their problem. Now to no fault of this child, a young boy has picked on her. Usually its the hair pulling reflex that young boys seem to develop and assume is a weakness to the other gender. I send my condolences to the new age school boy who does this because Willow Smith is teaching these girl to "whip it"... real hard. WATCH OUT NOW!!!

The adult involved here is mainly at fault. They are responsible for giving advice that will lead the young girl to empower herself to overcome the circumstance. As the young girl looks at the much older more experienced adult for a way to heal the pain she is receiving at the hands of her male counterpart. The adult in this situation places a thought so gruesome, so ill thought out into their mind that it will ruin this young girls future relationships for a very long time. The adult will say " That young boy is only picking on you because he likes you..." Now if this isn't the dumbest peice of knowledge passed onto a young girl I don't know what is. The adult has now made the girl assume that it is acceptable for a male to pick on her and give her physical and emotional pain as a labor of love and care. This will prove to ruin many relationships in her future.

Lets fast forward to the female as a young adult. We can say she is between the ages of 18 to 26. She is in her first "serious" relationship. Week after week she is put through turmoil and pain by a disrespectful, neglectful, and inconsiderate boyfriend. This boyfriend avoids her feelings and focuses on the things that make him happy to be around her. If it doesn't suit him he will not yield to it or even compromise. He has probably ripped her away from her friends and family and alienated her to the point where no one can show her support. She sees no way out, she is completely dependent on him. He treats her like dog poo, she doesn't remember the last time she was happy with him. When she tries to go to those people she trusts, she realizes that they can not support any resolution with her "man". There is no talking her out of her "love" for him, she thinks that how he shrugs off her feelings is an attempt at making her stronger. Its that or whatever else he feeds her so she is quiet enough for him to watch the game, or coax her into forgetting date night for boys night. We have seen it happen, some of us were victims and some of us were culprits!

Here is the point my friends, it starts with the young girl. Its starts by setting high expectations of our young boys. We have to teach these girls that the man should be the perfect compliment to her life, not a project or chore! Listen girls if you think you can change your man's attitude you are wrong. His mother had more time to deal with him and she probably isn't done teaching him. Do you think you will have more influence on him than his mother?! He acts immature because he is immature, and thats why he pulls your hair on the school yard. Thats why he is a jerk and finds a new way to make you cry or feel bad about yourself. Let him go, let it go. For goodness sake lets try and make our young girls want more for themselves and expect more out the young boy. I am only speaking from the female side because I see too many men get away with their immaturity.

As for the boy pulling hair at a young age. He should be disciplined, taught the importance of respect for other peoples space. Thats for another day though. Lets me sum up this syndrome though.

"If you, your friend or anyone you know is being treated like the scum at the bottom of a public trash can in their relationship and still try to find a way to defend or fix their relationship despite numerous failures....they have PLAYGROUND SYNDROME"

Lets do what we can to rid our friends and family of this disastrous disease.

Speechless

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfakab4QYJ0

I heard this on the radio, and it evoked a lot of emotions. All of them really are indescribable because thoughts run through my mind a mile a minute. I begin to think about my sisters, how much I love them and how proud I am to be their brother. Those girls have good heads on their shoulders and are capable of doing it all. My sisters always bring me to my parents, both of them do their best to raise us and give us all of their love. Then there are my brothers (boys/friends/non-blood), the guys in my life who I can always turn to. Some get the brunt of my troubles and are always open to listening, others provide the perfect balance for me. As if all it took to change my mood or remember how amazing my life is seeing them and having a casual conversation. Of course there are the ladies, gosh its as if someone or something (god) knew what they were doing. A creature who can test you, push you, and care for you. So versatile in every aspect... reminds me of a conversation with my youngest sister. She asked what things women do better than men, I just had to tell her women can do anything they want to do. What else can you say? Alright I am done rambling here, happy Friday everyone. Be safe this weekend, and take some time to reflect. If you are Muslim Friday is the day, for my Jewish friends sunset Friday until sunset Saturday, and my Christian friends make it Sunday. If you aren't religious clear your mind for 30 minutes and breathe! Do the crazy stuff too, you always have to enjoy yourself!

Love Muffin

Thinking back to my favorite meals, I always come back to a home cooked one. No matter the price tag of a meal or the quality of a meal I have ate in a restaurant. They will always peril in comparison to one at my parents dinner table.

I am sure that as you are reading this you are recalling a meal cooked by your mother or another family member. You can taste the ingredients, feel the texture and remember every bite you took. Yea it was that good wasn't it? OK, so why am I talking about this all of the sudden?

Just the other day I wasn't feeling well at home, being lazy, and trying to stay warm in the midst of the frigid weather conditions outside. I could tell that my mother was busy as usual. It was a Monday and she was making another meal for us to devour (she is really talented in the kitchen). So she was prepping her "super lentil soup", which is unlike any soup you have had. Unless you are an Arab than you probably had this pureed soup with a mix of boiled veggies. She had worked on it while multi-tasking between her day to day tasks. My mother is meticulous, she tastes and tastes her product. The kind of person who takes pride in her work and perfects it. She went out to the store just to get more cumin because it "Didn't taste right". As I ate the soup that made me feel 100 times better than before, I asked her how she goes about making the soup. I wont bore you with details but just say it was incredibly simple recipe that my mother even made it feel simple. As if anyone can just put together this simple dish and it would come out half as good.....no way!

I thought about it and yea it probably is simple, at least the idea is. The process is not, she is a mother and a caretaker. She is a respected woman who has high moral standing and shows everyone a high level of respect. When it comes to her food its the fact that she is making the dish with love. Now this may sound a bit strange but its the truth, she is able like all caretakers and great hosts to infuse their food with love and tenderness. Its what makes your favorite dish so special, not the ingredients (yes those are important). Its the love involved with it, the pure passion it takes. They are not just making a tasty dish, they are laboring for the love of you. When the meal is placed before you, it may not look like a 5-star restaurant but it tastes so good. The kind of taste that makes you eat slower and spark conversation just so no one asks you any questions while you focus on the task at hand (and pretend to be listening). No matter what is on the stove at home, its always the perfect meal at the perfect time. I can always count on having a full belly thanks to my parents. I can always count on having the best tasting food thanks to my mothers love.

So enjoy being the "Love Muffin" and be thankful someone cares that much to bring your taste buds into it. Have a good day everyone, thanks for reading.

Winners

So I have this theory that I introduced to my friends back in college when we would sit down and analyze futbol matches. My theory is that in any situation where we are asked to interact and either work or play on a team; you have to the designated winner. I am not talking about the game winner. Yes we can all agree there are athletes, business men/women who have something very special about them that sets them apart from everyone else. This can be athletic ability or just plain intelligence. Those aren't the people I am talking about. I am talking about people who know how to handle every situation they are presented with.

The easiest example of this was the disastrous showing of the U.S. Men's basketball team. With stars like Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, and Carmelo Anthony the team struggled for an identity and for victories. There had to be a change and there had to be a winner. Enter Coach K.... the prolific college coach was either going to get it under control or destroy the whole system. As he has always done, he got the most out of his players. Not only did he demand a level respect he asked for a two year commitment, seemingly closing the door on any NBA "superstar" who would try and back out of competing. You either came to camp or you didn't bother to come at all, but for most sports fans you know this. Here is where the theory comes in, Coach K recruits his athletes based on attitude and leadership capabilities. At this point in a certain players career (KOBE) people questioned his ability to win on his own. We knew he was a great player, but he wasn't a proven winner he hid behind Shaq's shadow. A 7 foot shadow that can engulf the best athlete. Kobe wasn't a winner, Lebron was too young, Carmelo probably a bit to selfish and still is by all accounts. The guy hates playing defense lucky for him Boheim had him playing a zone.....

Coach K has perfected the winning recruit. If you look at his most prolific players they never amounted to much in the athletic world of the NBA, Christian Laetner is regarded as one of the best big men in college basketball. Rightly so, he did everything it took to win. Brian Zoubek proves the point once again, a 7 foot player with no real offensive game did what was needed to get the Duke stars their shots; and if they missed he did it again. A dominant force on the offensive boards and a game changer by doing one thing....BOXING OUT. Zoubek was not only a pivotal player in Dukes most recent championship run, the young man is smart. Over 3.5 GPA at Duke University is tough for anyone, not to mention a guy who is expected to win games against the best athletes in the country right after his 830 a.m. lecture. How many of you did that?? Not to say you don't have it in you but the fact is that Brian Zoubek worked hard in school and on the court and learned to exceed expectations and efficiently complete every task asked of him. He is a winner, and as perfect as it gets when explaining this theory.

You will always need a winner. This is the person who gains an edge past all of his opponents by bringing out the best in his peers. They aren't just tireless, they inspire their peers with exuding high levels of effort. The winner is a focused competitor who not only understands the situation at hand and they can analyze their role in it. They facilitate success by motivating and inspiring through grit. Natural ability is only one component of the "winner" and one which I believe is the smallest portion of them. Their strong character and attitude push all those around them to exceed their own expectations.

My own experiences in life have led me to identify one clear winner. Although it was only an intramural experience I was fortunate to meet a guy who knew exactly how to get wins. He may have been average technically in the sport, but his attitude and effort made me work harder. If you weren't frozen by staring at him get involved with every moment of the game you were doing your best to emulate his level of intensity. Never did this winner talk down to us, he only urged us to play harder and smarter. He always put our team in favorable situations and dominated proceedings every time we played. This carried on in everything else, a devout Muslim, a focused student, and finally a model employee. He balanced his life beautifully between friends and family. That's not something you can teach, its a trait you are blessed to understand and use to your advantage or one you fear and walk away from.

Everyone can be a winner, its about accepting what you do well and doing that. In the modern day, being a renaissance man is confused with the idea of spreading yourself too thin. The fact is we all have a behavior (a good one) we can do consistently well throughout our life. Finding that behavior and repeatedly attempting to perfect it and develop will makes us efficient winners in all of our endeavours. I urge you to understand your characteristic and tone it like those abs you are preparing for the beach. Winning is key in our world becuase of how competitive it is, and relying on our natural abilities does not bring us any innovation or true dominance. We all have bad days, we all have off days, but that doesn't mean we have to a loss on those days.

My advice: Find a winner and observe them, you will not regret it and trust me you know a winner. Those are the people you should keep around for the long haul because they have bad days too, but deal with them.

As always thanks for reading and I wish you the best! No go out there and win for goodness sake (loving parent voice) !

Self-Image

Music is all about how you use it

bob your head side to side for your own amusement

they will judge you while your body is tuned in

so you turn it off, no more goofin

apologize apologize

you made a fool of yourself through their eyes

so consciously you are on your own

young man act grown

life isn't meant for fun, stop walking and run

nothings fair and your lit up because its so blunt

a 25 year old acting like a runt

childish really, no one cares about how you are dealing....

problems of yours aren't their concern but they will be first to offer up reasoning

so the music is gone and everyday is Monday...bland

instead of the whoop whoop yelling you clap hands

shake them, hold them, but prepare for them to abandon

feeling anything is stealing not mimicking..not respecting

being an individual is wrong start limiting

start fitting in....

so forget the background music and stop fidgeting

start grinning

stop sinning

listen to you parents

clearly they are the only ones carin.....hahaha yeaaaa right

IMAGE IS EVERYTHING

About time

I should have done this a long time ago. I have a ton of stuff running through my silly little mind. I might come of negative I might come off angry I also might seem like a pessimist. Thats not me, never has been. I just have to get out so that at the end of the day when I put my head on my pillow I can have sweet dreams. Dreams about all the people in my life and my sincere hope that they get on top of this planet and are successful as they want to be. I seriously dream about you and how important you are going to be and how you overcome those pressures and stresses in life.

That being said, I am going to keep myself honest with you. Plain as can be and as constrained as possible. I promise I will do my best to be myself, and if you have met me you know that I try to be consistent. Whether its consistently bad or consistently awesome...is up to your perceptions.

Things you should know right off the top:

1. I am Egyptian but not necessarily proud of it, more annoyed by how Egyptians try and flaunt their nationality when in reality we used to be civilized now we are just complacent slaves to the earth. That said Egyptians are content to focus on all the problems in the world but the ones that effect them the most. We have a corrupt country, lazy uneducated people, and are stuck in the past.

2. I love music and movies, I don't memorize lines. If I did that then it takes away from repeatedly watching or listening. Music and movies are important to me because thats how I fondly remember my childhood, it was how I connected with people and how I spent time with my family.

3. I am on twitter, you should follow me @therealmoejank, I observe a lot and like to narrate so its always really random stuff which makes it interesting and annoying all at once. If anything annoying.... so what?!

4. I got three younger sisters, they are all different and all equally hilarious. I won't be mentioning them much but thought the ladies should know since I will probably know more about you than you care to admit.

5. I love sports, futbol (soccer) being my favorite thing to follow. College sports are the best thing in America in my opinion. The NFL is fixed the NBA is only entertaining on Sport Centers top ten plays and in April when the playoffs start. So I will just say Glory Man United, The U runs the 305, and (clap , clap) DUKE!!

Sooo thats the introduction, I am going to keep it 100. Probably be wide open in everything I say and do. Thats just me though, there isn't really anything about that should be secret. I am sick of people who want to protect their image in front of people. No matter what you do or how you go about it, you can never fool people and most of all you can never fool God. God and his angels see everything we do, so why shouldn't that be the case for everyone in our life?

If you read this I am sorry but thank you clearly you are showing me love and I appreciate that!